9:59 pm

Getting straight to the point here.

I tried being friends with you. Honestly speaking, I really want to be friends with you. like legit friends. Friends you cannot feel awkward with. 

I tried being friendly,and making small talk but I guess I’m just barking at the wrong tree. I tried talking to you like you were really nothing more special than any of my guy friends.

you can’t treat me like I’m thin air, getting passed by even if you feel my presence. I don’t think that we can keep up this charade any longer that’s why I got tired of trying to gain that friendship back. but I guess that’s not the case here anymore.

I know what I want now and If you still don’t know what you want, Id have to let you know that I’m tired of waiting. And if ever you think that I still have feelings enough for you to open my doors and let you in again, you’re wrong.

I wanna be friends. and If you don’t want to, I’m okay with that actually. I realized today that I really got tired of trying to be. So that’s it. Don’t get me wrong tho, if in time you’d want to be friends, I’d be more willing to!

 

I wish you the best in all your endeavors.

xx

In ambiguity

I’m not supposed to be pissed off.

but here’s the thing. I’ve been already healed and I don’t want to go back. I mean,I’ve given you and myself a second chance at having a friendship. But please don’t be too inconsiderate. The wounds have just healed and I don’t want thme to be split open by just some misguided flirting. No. please stop that. friends don’t flirt with each other.

I decided already that If you want to be friends, let’s just be friends. let’s ignore all the lingering feelings we have for each other and let them just fade away into an eternal abyss. If you want to be in my life as something more, then stand up for that.

I’ve already have had enough of our ambiguity and in-betweens.I don’t want us to be robbed of what we deserve. And it’s the oh so beautiful tumultuous  relationships that we’re going to have with our significant others some day. And if we keep on staying here,in this wretched black hole of vagueness, I don’t think we’re ever going to have that.

I’ve already decided. Have you?

Open Letter

To start off i would just like to say that i am effing scared togo back out again.my reason for having this many crushes is that i am a freaking coward and i am not brave enough to get myself hurt again. For crying out loud i got really tired with all the shit that happened last semester and i feel traumatized whenever i remember everything. I keep a good distance not because i dont trust myself around you but contrarily,i trust myself too much that i already know all the bullshit that im going to go through if ever we get close to each other again. And since i cannot (take note on the emphasis om the word CANNOT) ask you to stay away,its much easier for me to get a healthy distance from you. Real talk tho,i. Not ready to mingle with you yet. I feel too cynical when im with you. And its really unfair on your part. Ive already foegiven you and everything. Regardless if i still like you or not,ive already learned my lesson.

Xx